So I'm several months into online dating and overall I have had a very fun time. Online dating (dating in general) while at times is taxing, time consuming and expensive has overall been a fun and positive experience for me. I've been out with some very nice, successful and beautiful women. But there have been a few bumps in the road. One girl even stood me up!
The Truth About Online Profiles
The way some women describe themselves in their online profiles often differs greatly from their real-life personas. I recently met a girl for drinks outside and she described herself as very outgoing, an extrovert...life of the party! Sounded good to me. When I met her she had those big sunglasses on. The kind of glasses that other women call cute, but men secretly think look stupid. Sorry, but they do. And she did not take them off as I sat there bored to death by this woman who was clearly an introvert. Which is OK....there are plenty of men out there who like introverted women...just be honest about who you are. At one point I asked her to take them off so I could see her...which she did for all of 5 seconds. Real extrovert.
Hobbies and Interests
Many women say they like to play/watch sports and I know several that really do. One girls' profile said she played golf. On our date I discovered that she played golf....ONCE IN HER LIFE! That is not a person who plays golf. She went on to tell me that it was at Augusta National. Impressive....but she is still not a golfer, so please, strike "golfer' from your profile. And do that many women really like to watch sports on TV? While I am not one of them, I know A LOT of guys who will spend literally an entire day watching sports on TV...literally ALL day. And will follow that up with hours of recap shows in late night. I know that some women love to watch sports on TV but when men say it they take it to the next level. Counterpoint: men who say they like to shop. Get it?
Availability
I had lunch with a girl who invited me out again two more times....for the same day! After lunch she asked if I wanted to meet some of her friends for a drink after work. Told her I had plans that night. Two hours later she asked me to meet up with her and her friends late that night. Told her I still had those same plans. She got jealous and mad at me. Jealous of who/what? Mad at me? Hmmm....I searched vigilantly for an "un-friend"-type feature on the dating site so I could officially put her in my review mirror.Location
My favorite bump in the road are the profiles stating that the woman lives in Chicago but she really lives in the burbs. This has happened to me twice. After a few emails and a phone call they announce that they live in the burbs, not the city. So we are starting out this possible relationship with a lie? Great start. My guess is that they do this so they do not eliminate downtown/city guys from their list of potential matches. I guess I get that but it is just such an outright lie to say you live in Chicago but actually live someplace else.
Body Type
Then comes body type. Yes, it's an important part of attraction for both sexes. You have several choices when it comes to listing your body type online: slender, about average, athletic and toned, curvy, stocky, a few extra pounds, heavyset, etc. I will not provide my personal definition on what each of these means to me and to men in general but allow me to talk about Athletic an Toned and About Average.
So what does Athletic and Toned mean to the average man? Here are a few examples of women that are Athletic and Toned: tennis superstars the Williams sisters, Hope Solo and Linda Hamilton from T2 ("Goggle Image" that if you don't know what I am talking about). On the male side; Derrick Rose and Brad Pitt from Fight Club.
Just because you are athletic does not mean you are toned. And not everyone who is toned is athletic. Unfortunately, the most important part of Athletic and Toned is the later, not the former. If you can wear a tank top pretty much anywhere and pull it off you qualify for this category. I've been out with several women who listed themselves as Athletic and Toned who clearly were not. Nor am I. I list myself as About Average. I workout at least 5 days per week (religiously) and while I have some muscle tone I will openly admit that I do not have a six pack. And one of the most meaningful relationships in my life was with a woman who was curvy so I am not being shallow here. Rather, I would invite the entire online dating nation to just be honest about who and what you are. I wish there was a body-type category called Athletic and Average...plenty of us out there that fit this category.
Online Dating Horror Stories
For every online dating horror story a man has a woman has five times as many. Here are just a few I have heard from the dates I have been on: Men lie about their height (this is the one I hear the most and it's usually by at least two inches). Men lie about their occupation...and mostly about even having a job. Men lie about their marital status (apparently there are a lot of married men in the online dating world). One girl told me that a man answered the door in his towel and then went to his room to change but decided it would be a good idea to reappear naked. Way to keep it classy! One girl had the trifecta: a man lied about his height, occupation and age.The horror story I am most worried about having is going out with someone who's profile lists them as a non-smoker and then she lights up when we are out. Really hoping to avoid that one.
Trust me when I say that I am not complaining. I have met some really nice women via online dating and I have had a blast....just haven't clicked with someone yet. If everyone was 100% honest and normal it would be kind of boring, right? The imperfections are what make it fun and interesting.
