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How to Spot a True Bridezilla

First let us give these bridezillas their moment to explain from their perspectives the bridezilla stories that were their lives. According to bridezillas, they act the way they do for one or more of the following reasons:

  • A younger sibling or formerly trusted friend or relative rudely announced their pregnancy or engagement at the bride's engagement party, stealing the thunder and causing irreparable harm.
  • The wedding Barbie doll that bridezilla got as a young child made her believe that her wedding had to be the most important day of her life.  And that it had to be perfect (I wonder if a young girl plays groomzilla versus bridezilla with Ken and Barbie?).  Oh yeah!  Headless Ken.  Hmm. Legless Ken.  Hmmm.  Ken who?
  • The groom refuses to be involved in the planning I wonder what a bridezilla would do if the groom tried to plan everything? (Kind of like a number of brides we know.)  Maybe then this article would be about groomzilla stories instead.
  • Wedding vendors overcharges Bridezilla for everything, by gosh, Bridezilla shall bring her wrath willingly upon those bride robbers.  Bridezilla, broke, demoralized has paid for the right to fight.
  • Crazy diets and exercise regimens have put our bridezillas in terrible mental states.  They have sacrificed ice cream and sanity to see themselves through to fit into the smallest dress size possible.  And by my wrath, audience, you will suffer right along with Bridezilla.
  • The reality that as a vow taking woman, bridezilla will not now, not ever, ever, ever, sleep with anyone else for the rest of her  life has her regretting her decision and she in frustration cannot speak of her pain and thus becomes a monster (although that doesn't tend to turn the groom into a groomzilla).
  • A bad and boring poorly planned and painfully executed bachelorette party --where did Bridezilla's best friend find that giant blow up penis--(And,oh, oh, didn't the maid of honor get that memo about sleeping with one man for the rest of HER life)!
  • Bridezilla's wedding dress didn't fit even though she went through all the crazy diets and exercise programs and every last safety pin opened as she danced the first dance at her reception. Piercing her in places that will never heal; of course we must feel her pain.
  • Bridezilla is sick and tired of the way Martha Stewart makes every project look perfect and sick of her pretense that it takes no money and no time.
  • Bridezilla realized that the diamond encrusted wedding band has for some reason been exchanged for a not so diamond encrusted band and since it's now engraved with her name and his name and the date, it cannot be returned, ever.  (Seriously? Bridezillas hate bait and switch and do not consider their hatred as shallow.)

Some of these reasons are understandable but others are just excuses.  Bridezilla, in effect, inflict their pain, upon themselves so they shouldn't take it out on the rest of the wedding party. Check out these bridezilla stories and see if you think they would be justified by the above reasons.

One young bride (Mary) had been doing quite well even though her mother-in-law-to-be had been on a rampage. First the design of the announcements wasn't perfect, than she disapproved of the wedding colors and Mary refused to change them. She couldn't get her fiancé to handle his mother so she had to endure constant comments about every little thing that wasn't perfect. Mary went on the customary pre wedding diet (although I didn't understand why a size six woman needed a diet) which added to the number of fittings required. As the wedding day drew closer I noticed that Mary was back to eating a couple of chocolates a day which I thought would help with the stress. Of course when the mother-in-law-to-be noticed, she had to add a few comments which made Mary stop and concentrate on her diet again. Nevertheless on her final fitting she didn't fit into her dress, well actually she did but in her mind the tight pinching spots meant she was as large as a house. She lost it.She started screaming at the designer that he'd sewed the dress up incorrectly and didn't follow the information from the last fitting properly. To accent her words she started jumping up and down on her little stand. Maybe she was as heavy as a house because next thing I know the stand collapsed, pinching the bottom of the dress in the debris. In her freak out, she tried to yank her dress from the pile of wood and it riped out which only fed her tirade at the poor man. I felt so badly for the man, I thought she would lose it at some point and I had been hoping that it would be at her mother-in-law-to-be instead of someone innocent like the designer that got the brunt.

Again, from the bridezilla stories, on another occasion, I watched a bride go down the aisle at a beautifully decorated ceremony in a perfectly elegant gown to meet a very handsome groom. Upon arriving at the altar she seemed to be sizing up her groom as if she was trying to decide if he was dressed properly. I can only assume that he wasn't because she screamed at him "I can't believe you wore that tux" before she threw her bouquet at him and stormed back down the aisle. Can you say "What The...?"  Can't live without em!

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