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creating-peace-in-your-houseI have found the secret to marital bliss.

Every day I am in trouble, doing something wrong or saying something I regret. I call it getting to know someone. My husband calls it involving myself in someone else's business. People like to share, I tell him. It is a way of letting someone know that you care about them. Besides, I add, who has more friends than me?

This reminds me of a friend in retirement, who confided that her most peaceful moments were when she woke up, before she went outside. She shared that when she walks out the door she prays that she won’t "piss anyone off for just one day."

I can relate. When my husband gets home from work, I am almost afraid to tell him my stories. I wonder is it just a male versus female thing? Or could it possibly be me?

“You said what?”

Here is another frequent line to be heard in my home - "Where are we going this weekend and who are we going with?"

After 25 years of marriage, I have come to the conclusion that the only way to brighten my husband’s day is to:

  1. Tape my mouth shut
  2. Stop spending money
  3. Stop making plans

Really? What fun is life when you don’t tell stories? What is the point if you don’t tell people how you truly feel, stirring up a little fun and commotion at the same time?

My husband goes by the motto the less you say the better, which is probably why he is universally loved. He is a strong believer that you say the minimum - unless, of course, if it is about sports. Maybe that is why men’s language of choice is ESPN 101 or the Howard Stern Show. 

Talking about sports, the discussion is endless; the facts, the statistics, the injuries, and stories that bring the sporting community together. I watch it when I take my boys to the barber shop. Everything is dead quiet and then someone will pipe up.

"Hey did you see the Giants game last night?”"

Instantly, the room comes alive and there is almost a clamor as to who will speak next. Resisting the temptation to yell out "WHO CARES," this is the only time I do keep quiet.

There is also the ever-popular conversation on the Howard Stern Show. Who doesn't love discussing a girl who burps the Star-Spangled banner? Much sarcasm here. 

So there you have it. I will have to conform to connect. Either that or join the convent. They both hold the same appeal.

For more funny stories please visit Wendy at lifewithwendy.com.

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