I can't count how many times I've heard, “Girls are crazy!” It’s said so casually that girls are crazy… psycho… nuts. We hear stories of “my crazy ex-girlfriend” or how “this girl went psycho after one date.”
As a single gal who has gone through the gauntlet of meaningless affairs and ego-centric games, I’m here to defend and discount the stereotype of “crazy girls.”
First, it’s important to differentiate the stereotypical crazy girl from a person who’s actually crazy. If a man feels like his life is endangered, then in all fairness run far and fast. But do women who demand attention or answers or who emotionally explode deserve to be called crazy?
The truth is that sometimes single girls do indeed feel crazy, but it is usually a reaction to a man's behavior. If a man takes a woman on a few dates, acts interested, sends flirty texts and then abruptly makes excuses not to see her, can you blame her for her uncontrollable reaction of seeking a simple "why" (closure) from him?
Or have you been in a long-term relationship and sensed that your boyfriend is aggravated and calling you crazy because you’re hovering over his every move? Women in the midst of a 'crazy spell' simply want three things while dating a man – 1. to feel special and acknowledged, 2. not to be taken advantage of, and 3. secure consistency. When those three things are uncertain or disrupted, we react, and in our culture, reaction is disguised as craziness.
The Strong & Weak
Despite sometimes being visible emotional wrecks, women are innately strong. We’re built to be homemakers and caretakers. When it comes to matters of the heart, men are weak. Men can be cowardly, emotionally robotic and self-centered. This disconnect between men and women is what causes women to feel emotionally out of control and reactive. It’s actually very simple to cure the 'crazy syndrome'; it’s honesty. Backstreet Boys said it best: “Quit playing games with my heart,” and we’ll maintain sanity.
Men are programmed to compartmentalize feelings; men can re-focus their emotions. Yes, men get heartbroken and feel hurt from rejection, but like a male friend once told me, “guys move on more easily and quickly than girls.” Unlike the male mentality, women perseverate and search for reasons from men who typically have the incapacity to articulate any.
Dating Advice: Finding Your Peace
The dynamic between men and women will never change. While dating, if a man stands outside your house throwing rocks at your window, it’s romantic. If a guy stares at you with Edward Cullen forever longing and lust, it’s a fairytale. If a guy swoons and professes his love for you, he’s prince charming. For a girl to throw stones or gush love, it’s crazy! She's already flipping through bridal magazines and picking names for her future babies.
It’s an unjust reality; however, I advocate that the “crazy girl” is a manmade label that gives men peace of mind and an excuse to not take responsibility for the relationship, whether this relationship is two texts, two dates or two years of being together.
It’s easy to fix: be upfront. And for ladies, never apologize for your feelings or honesty because that would be like apologizing for the truth, and nothing is more important to this world and personal integrity than truth. If any guy is making you feel or telling you that you are – crazy, then tell him to go fly a kite, for real.