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Do I Still Love Him?

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The Big Question is Not Always What you Might Think

There are times in relationships when you will hit a patch where you start to question the person in your life and how you feel about them. In intimate relationships these questions do come up quite a bit.  It is a painful question to ask the question, "do you still love each other", other but soul searching and understanding life as you are living it are two things that you can do to try to determine just how you are feeling about your life, your relationship and your future. None of which are exclusive to the other.

Do I Still Love Him?

Perhaps time is passing and the relationship doesn't feel exciting. Perhaps your partner is not being attentive anymore. Maybe personalities have grown over time and you both tend to want different things. There are times when it is appropriate to assess your life and relationship and as yourself the question "do I still love him?"  or "does he still love me?"

Many women tend to forgo their own personal growth at least in the child rearing days, to take care of the family. Often times this responsibility tends to blind us to what is going on right in front of our face. It's normal to question our love. It could be just a phase. Relationships drift if we don't take care of them. Whether it is kids, school, job or social life there is a chance that your relationship changes and your feelings toward your partner change as well. For some it is simply growing apart.

For some it's simply a matter of falling out of love. For others it is the reality after the "honeymoon" period. For others still, it is a change in behavior that makes us realize that we need to seriously consider what the answer is to "do I still love him".  Many of us turn that onto ourselves and blame ourselves.  We then ask "does he still love me?"

There is a question I always ask myself whenever I am trying to decide if I want someone to stay in my life or not. It is quite simple. Are you better or worse off if they are in your life? I know this over simplifies but the point is you need to understand what might be causing you to wonder about the condition of your heart and then you need to look at what might be putting the question there in the first place. It is not uncommon to ask the question. It happens. What you do with it, how fair you are to him and yourself are the important questions. In any case deciding if you are still in love should be given time and consideration and not taken lightly.

Only you know how you feel about the people in your life. Does he add to the quality of your life? Do you look forward to seeing him at the end of the day? Can you even imagine your life without him in it? Can part of the uncertainty be around you and what is going on in your life and not him at all? You need to take some time to find out how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. After that you have to decide what to do about it. Before you get there though, make sure you are sure about whether or not you love him and whether you want to do something about it or not. When you know these things, you can then decide the next course of action.

Take your time. Talk to a professional if you need to. Talk to him if you think you are ready to be honest about how you are feeling. However, the first person you need to honest with is yourself.