I am fortunate to have many great friends in my life. I know that they will be there for me and that I will be there for them, through good times and the not so good times. We can laugh and cry together. These are people I enjoy spending time with, and enjoy spending time with me. Sadly, I have also had friendships that were not so great. I’m sure this is true for the most of us. But when is it time to end a friendship?
Sometimes we find ourselves in unhealthy relationships, and often we are not sure how we got there or when it happened. Sometimes friendships start out great and then over time things change. Other times, we just don’t see the dysfunction for a long time. Many times we keep up with these friendships because we have invested a lot of ourselves into the relationship. How do you know when it's time to just walk away?
First thing first, know that it’s ok to end a friendship. Just like it is ok to get out of a romantic relationship if things are not working for you, it is ok to end a friendship too. It hurts, it doesn’t feel good, but in the end you will be better for it.
When To End A Friendship
You're Only Friends Out Of Habit
Sometimes we remain friends with someone just because we have been friends for so long. Long time friendships can be wonderful and very rewarding. It is natural for any long term relationship to go through ups and downs and periods of closeness and distance. We may have friends that we don’t see often, but when we do see them, it is like no time has passed. There is a closeness and connection. However, there may be times when you just don’t have any connection to the person anymore and you just see each other out of habit. It’s ok to break the habit if you don’t feel you want to spend time with that person.
You Feel Undervalued
Have you ever found yourself remaining friends with someone even though you no longer feel good about spending time in their company or feel that they don't value you? You are not alone by any means. When you realize this, it’s ok to distance yourself from that person or end the friendship all together.
It's A One-Sided Friendship
Have you ever been in a friendship where you feel as though you are the only one really making an effort to maintain it? Are you the one initiating contact most of the time? If so, it’s ok to stop making contact. It's a safe bet that the friendship will just fade away without you making all the effort.
Their Negativity Is Bringing You Down
If you find that you are brought down by being with someone because of a negative attitude, or are brought down by listening to them talk negatively about others, it is time to look for more positive people to spend your time with. Also, if they are talking negatively about others to you, what do they say about you to others?
You Feel Judged By Them
It’s ok for people to have different viewpoints, beliefs and values. It is not ok is when someone is judging you for being different from them. You don’t need this person in your life.
How To End A Friendship
Sometimes you can just let a friendship fade away. Other times, you may have to just be blunt and let the person know you do not wish to spend time with them. Be honest with yourself and with them.
Enjoy the Good Relationships
When you stop being friends with people who are not good for you, you will have more time to enjoy the healthy relationships in your life! Cherish and nurture those relationships.