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Silent-SufferingSilent Suffering:  Pain endured by loved ones of cancer victims...

They would say that it's too soon to write about this because she just passed away in mid-September but, being a writer, this is the only way that I know of to release my own pain. The personal pain of watching a woman that I grew up with waste away to a fragile, slip of a thing until she was a shell of what she used to be.  So we will call her Sasha and if I ever do decide to release her name, I will re-write this. But not now, it hurts too much.

Winning and Loss, the Language of Death Tells Little

Cancer...This is perhaps the most feared and despised six-letter word in the English language. Then again, the phrase breast cancer survival invokes in us hope for cure and prayer for possibilities. It lets us know that there is indeed a chance in beating this deadly disease. Even when the ultimate price of life is paid. Even when death seems victorious. The courage and the life force survive.

It won't all be gloom and doom but it should be stated that not every person who is fighting is ensured to win this fight. Some brave souls will give up the fight because it just got too difficult, not only the toll on their own bodies but the toll on family is such that no one person should ever have to endure.

With that being said I will continue on to tell you what a family that is very close to mine and friends of ours have endured for the past 5 or 6 years. I have changed her name to protect the family from the raw pain that this article would surely inflict on them if they knew.

The pain that each and every one of "Sasha's" relatives, friends, parents, children, sisters and brother went through can never really be described with mere words, unfortunately it would have to be felt.

The way Sasha fought the first bout with breast cancer and did appear to beat it was amazing. She sailed through it all with a smile, that was Sasha. She loved kids and kept working until the Chemo drove her to stay home and rest.

She did have it beat it seemed for about 4 years. Then it came back and when it did, it was a hungry tiger in search of the dinner that got away. But still, Sasha smiled and endured. Everyone said she was so strong, and yes she was. Nobody ever saw the situation from the inside.

The long nights of watching over Sasha after she went through her chemotherapy sessions, the long drive back from another city on snow or rain-slicked highways. Many people only look at the person who is fighting to survive.  Her public appearance and her private pain seem so apparent.  And they there are those whose spirits waste away along side her.  The silent ones, with wan smiles.  What about the people behind the scenes?  The pain that they are feeling may not be apparent to the naked eye but it is nevertheless real and it will affect these people for the rest of their lives.

Yes, Sasha is at peace now and thank God for that...the peace, at least and at last.  And what about everyone who was with her every step of the way? Her children will never be able to go into a hospital again without thinking of their mom's last days. My heart goes out to them because to me, they are the real survivors. They live on to pass Sasha's message on to the world to not take one single day for granted. 

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