A very funny upshot about having three "men" in the house of varying ages is the special kind of parallel conversations that often occur around our kitchen table.
In some cases, my boys (ages seven and eight) can be innocently talking about things like school or girls (still yucky for the older one, but surprisingly not so much for the little guy) and my husband will decide to add to the conversation with his grown-up (sure) take on the subject at hand.
Given the 40+ year age gap between Rob and they boys, you can imagine the comedy of errors that unfolds when they boys react to Rob’s comments, having absolutely no idea what he’s talking about, although if you dissected his remarks, they make perfect sense.
That is, they would make sense, if he were talking with another 49-year-old-man and not a couple of elementary school boys. Let’s just say there’s a lot of subtext there, like there is in an old Bugs Bunny reel. Sort of for kids, but not really. Nonetheless, you just can't buy this kind of comedy, folks.
Here's a good example from last week's episode of Why Rob Will Not be Teaching our Kids About the Birds and the Bees
The boys were sitting around the kitchen table having breakfast, talking about going back to school and wondering if there would be any new girls in their classes this year. Morgan (the little one), can be shy when meeting new people and he he was trying to put on a brave face, acting as if any girl who would be his friend when started second grade, would be just fine with him.
And so he said to his brother Aidan, "I'll like any girl who says she loves me. Any girl."
Aidan replied, "Really? Any girl?
Morgan: "Yeah, even if she's dumb. “As long as she loves me."
Now, on the one hand, as a mother, I'd like to applaud my son for at least prioritizing brains over beauty, but on the other hand, jeez, I've really got some work to do.
Rob, not missing a beat or even bothering to pick his head up, decided to impart some, um, wisdom.
"Been there, my man. Been there. There are some desperate slumps. Desperate slumps."
Morgan looked up from his plate, met Rob's eyes (had no idea what he was talking about of course) and over his breakfast of blueberry pancakes, nodded his head in complete, I-got-your-back-man, solidarity. Eye contact. Brotherhood. I’m with you, dude.
"Sometimes, you just have to put some numbers up on the board."
And so this is why my husband, my wonderful husband of three years (four if he's lucky) has now been relegated to teaching the boys about home and auto maintenance. ONLY.