The Experts Agree on One Factor: Balance Lies in Positive Reinforcement
All of the experts can't agree, and kids definitely don't agree with any rules you set down and the previous generation simply thought that kids should be seen and not heard. There are the well behaved children and then there are those. For those children that dared disobey; it was a good whipping and off to bed without any supper! Whatever should today's parents do when it comes to all of the conflicting advice, tips and sure fire ways about the subject of 'how to discipline your children'?
How to Discipline Your Children
Sure everyone wants good kids that always do as they are asked; never ever set a foot wrong and constantly eat all of their veggies without any fuss whatsoever. And not to mention those wonderful children of TV that we grew up with in the Brady Bunch family that were always delightfully well-behaved children, courteous and so caring toward one another. Let's face it; that's just not what goes on in real life, is it? And anyway who wants kids like that anyway?
The subject of How to Discipline Your Children has been debated throughout the decades with new ideas and techniques being born as a result of every new wave of thought that's created to describe successful parenting behaviors. We no longer endorse smacking or yelling at our kids regardless of what negative or unsavory behaviors they may display. Kicking, spitting, swearing, biting and tantrum throwing two year old experts are tremendous at attacking an unsuspecting tired mother or care giver in an effort to obtain a reaction or attention. If the law states that corporal punishments that used to be common place as little a few decades ago might get you a jail sentence; how do you discipline your child?
What Is Discipline? Is it about punishing in order to make your child behave or about teaching appropriate, acceptable or proper behavior? It's a fact that punishments don't usually work as an effective form of getting your child to do what you want; period! Sure you may get temporary results due to fear and control; but they never last or work in the long run. Punishing kids can also cause self-esteem issues and see kids fearful of their parents which doesn't help matters. No doubt effective discipline still challenges parents throughout the world today. It may be even more tricky as today's kids seem brighter, have more options available to them and also have more responsibility in one way while being simultaneously more limited in others. It's certainly a controversial melting pot that needs constant monitoring so that the precious contents don't wind up being spoiled.
The goal or objective of effective discipline and successful parenting is to assist children in their journey from infancy, to toddlerhood, to childhood, through puberty and finally into the adult world as responsible and independent members of society. The key skill they hopefully learn through discipline is to effectively handle consequences of their behaviors, choices and actions.
One of the most important aspects of how to discipline your children is to always be consistent in your disciplinary techniques, appropriate consequences and to also use positive reinforcement for proper behaviors. It's not surprising that those parents and care givers that fail to follow through have children that aren't likely to follow any disciplinary rules and guidelines that are in place. Giving children some choices regarding disciplinary consequences, chores and rewards reinforces the lessons of good decision making, self-worth, responsibility, self-control and paves the way for good communication which translates into a solid foundation for responsible behavior which is the number one priority of all good discipline.