It happens every holiday season. You're at yet another ugly-sweater-cookie-swap-secret-Santa-themed party, ready to enjoy your night catching up with friends and chowing down on some seasonal goodies when someone who's already downed a few too many candy-cane flavored cocktails offers you a drink.
After declining their offer (multiple times), you're forced to break out your standard five-minute long explanation as to why you don't drink, because for some reason the majority of people just cannot comprehend the fact that some people don't drink alcohol.
And for those that don't drink, repeatedly explaining to strangers why you don't drink is a holiday tradition that is about as fun as a trip to the dentist after devouring too many gingerbread men cookies.
So to help you out this holiday party season, we've created a survival guide to keep the awkward non-drinking conversations to a minimum.
Volunteer To Be The Designated Driver
The easiest way to avoid spending your next holiday party hiding from people who keep trying to get you to spike your eggnog is by being the designated driver at the party. For some odd reason, people respect your choice to not drink for the health and safety of others a lot more than they respect your choice to not drink for the health and safety of yourself. The benefit of being a designated driver is that all it takes is two words to get people to leave your alone. The con is that you'll have to drive everyone home.
Make The Conversation Even More Awkward
Choosing not to drink is simply a personal choice. It doesn't matter if the choice is because of religious reasons or because you're allergic or if you just don't like the taste of liquor. It's your choice and people should respect it and move on. However, there's some weird phenomenon surrounding alcohol where people just can't get over the fact you don't want to down some tequila shots without knowing exact reasons why. So for those of you who don't feel like having an awkward and very personal conversation with strangers about your life choices, take a moment to change your conversation's narrative. Make it even more awkward. Create an elaborate, heartbreaking (and fake) back story as to why you don't drink. Once you notice the other person is uncomfortable, let them know your story isn't true, but it could be for someone else they ask. The goal of this interaction is to get people to think before asking people such invasive personal questions.
If All Else Fails Break Out The Mocktails
At the end of the day, some people just won't accept the fact that you don't drink. And when that's the case, it's time to break out the mocktails. No one needs to know that your glass of sangria is a lot more grape juice than it is wine.