My name is Jack and I am a recently divorced man who has not dated since before September, 2001.  Dating again has been equal parts fun, time consuming, exciting, depressing, expensive and illuminating.  I've been in Chicago most of my life and live and work downtown.  I was with my ex-wife for ten years and we just grew apart like so many married couples do.  A lot has changed in ten years (texting and dating) and a lot of things have stayed the same (butterflies) and this blog is the story of my return to all of it.  This is my first blog and my goal in writing it is simple:

...to share my perspective on the crazy world of dating and provide a few laughs for those who stop by to read what I have to say.  Plus....if I can do this consistently I will save a ton on therapy!

 

Into the Rabbit Hole

So there I was ....sitting at my computer while my soon-to-be ex-wife was out with her new boyfriend.  As feelings of anger, sadness and betrayal began to overwhelm me, I remembered that my best friend had told me some of his successes with online dating.  While I was in no position to jump back into a relationship (I was not even divorced yet and I was still living with my wife...who was spending less and less time at home for the aforementioned reasons), I was curious about what may lie ahead for me.  So I signed up for online dating and listed my status as "separated."  I decided not to date anyone until my wife moved out....which was several long and difficult weeks away.  Despite what she was doing, I decided to hold off on dating until we were no longer living together.  But I had taken my first step into the rabbit hole...there was no turning back now. Shit was about to get real.  
 

Why the Split?

A lot of people ask me why we got divorced while others are nervous about bringing it up to me.  I actually like talking about it.  We just grew apart over the years.  How did that happen?  When you fall in love with someone you don't really realize what you don't have in common... you just like being near them.  Over the years, your differences begin to surface and you realize that you have little, if anything, in common and don't like spending time with each other.  Events happen, and when you begin to resent those events, the distance you've grown apart doubles to the point where you are literally roommates; roommates who don't like living together.  So we decided to divorce.  And with the exception of the affair, the process went relatively stress-free.  
 

Online Dating

After I signed up, I was asked to do my first search.  Search?  What am I searching for?  In 2000, when I was still single, online dating was in its infancy... people still took out ads in the paper and took their chances.  I was amazed to learn that I could search for women by height, income, eye color, ethnicity, education... the list continued.  So, being the open-minded guy I am, I casted a wide net: women 30-43 within 20 miles of my zip code.  Upon hitting enter my screen was flooded with women... hundreds and hundreds of them.  Could it be this easy?  All you have to do is email one that catches your eye, go on a date and live happily ever after, right?.  Jackpot. 
 
With my wife moving out in a few weeks and knowing the divorce would be final soon (the entire process took just over two months), I decided to throw myself into the world of online dating (well, "searching" for dates, not actually going on them at this point).  Not only was it exciting to read all the profiles and view the photos but it was also a nice diversion from the hurt and feelings of betrayal I was feeling. 
 
My first date was with a beautiful separated mother of three.  A red-headed woman with a big career, a big heart and piercing blue eyes that left me tongue-tied.  But that is a story for next time.