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Home Love Marriage Letting Go of Bad Relationships

Letting Go of Bad Relationships

why women stay in bad relationshipsWomen Are Not Letting Go of Bad Relationships

There are hundreds of reasons why women stay and why they should be letting go of  bad relationships.  But if you ask five women to give you five reasons why they are not letting go of a bad relationship,you can be certain that at least one of the five reasons they give you will be the same for all of them. Over and over again women lead lives of desperation holding on to fears and beliefs about themselves and convincing themselves on a daily basis that they will not be better off alone.  Why?

Why Women are not letting go

The common reasons women don't let go of bad relationships were denial, devotion, low self-esteem, children and fear.

The Five Most Common Reasons Women Stay

  1. Denial - There are many forms of denial a woman can demonstrate when she stays in a bad relationship.  Some women believe that by staying in a bad relationship, they somehow help their mate become better.  Maybe by not admitting to the state of a bad relationship, a woman believes her mate or the situation is going to change for the better. This savior mentality is an excuse women use to avoid the problem. Women also tend to blame their own behavior and deny any wrongdoing on the part of their mates.  Denial is a very common survival instinct that helps you deal with your current situation within an explosive relationship.  Becoming aware of your surroundings and admitting to the condition of your relationship will save you time, pain and stress.  For this reason you should stop making excuses, wake up to your reality, admit there's a problem, and begin to let go of the bad relationship that will not get better.
  2. Devotion - Devotion, loyalty, commitment--whatever you want to call it--is still one of the biggest reasons women do not let go of a bad relationship.  "We've been together for so long, I've gotten used to him."  This is different from denial because you're not denying the fact that the relationship has problems; instead, you use the fact that you've grown accustomed to a certain level of abuse and this is supposed to make it okay for you to stay. There is no level of devotion or loyalty that will make it acceptable to stay in a bad relationship.  Simply because you've known a person for a long time doesn't mean it's right for them to treat you badly.  It's certainly a mistake for you to stay to a point that you've become used to an abusive relationship.  One thing is for sure: it will get worse before it gets better, if it ever does, and your devotion or loyalty has nothing to do with it.  Redirect the loyalty and devotion to yourself and learn that you don't have to accept less simply because of how long you've been with your partner.
  3. Having Low Self-Esteem - Low self-esteem has to be the number one reason why women hold on to bad relationships and refuse to let go.  Women who are subjected to a constant level of mental, physical or emotional abuse have very low self-esteem.  This low perception of oneself makes them feel stuck, unable to take care of themselves and unable to find someone better. Realizing that you can take care of yourself is the first and most important step to building yourself up and finding the strength to leave.
  4. Children - Maybe they're his kids and you feel bad about leaving their father.   Maybe you worry about how the kids will react to you leaving the relationship.  No matter which reason you use, the sake of the kids is often the reason many women stay in bad marriages.  The thought of using the kids as an excuse to endure an unbearable marriage is foolish.   When a women uses the kids as a reason to stay, it may be due to the economic reasons.  But sometimes it is fear of reprisal. Especially if she thinks he'll harm her or the kids to make her stay.  The problem with this reasoning is the emotional and mental damage that will likely continue to be inflicted on the kids.  The best thing to do is get help and get yourself and your kids out of this bad marriage or relationship.
  5. Fear of the Unknown - Fear is the number one reason women have difficulty letting go of harmful relationships and marriages.  Most often it's the fear of being alone, the fear of meeting someone new, the fear of what he will do to you if you leave, or the fear of not being able to financially support yourself or the kids.   Even the fear that you won't meet someone new can cause women to remain unhappily involved.   The bottom line, when it comes to the fear factor and bad relationships, is to overcome that fear either by getting professional help or doing a little self-help.  Either way, you need to get over that fear so that you can get out of that situation.

No matter what reason you come up with to stay in a bad relationship, there are ten other reasons why you should leave.  Getting help from friends and family or even professional help, depending on the severity of your situation, may be the right choice and a healthy first step to getting out of a bad relationship.

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