Not All Men Are Created Equal... in the Art of Gifting
He meant well, I know but the panties were two sizes too small (my bad) and the bra, well let's just say Victoria doesn't really understand the Secret I've harboring in my wonder bra! And it looks like he's still in the romance stages...or just not too good at measuring cubits! The good news is he only missed the mark by two cup sizes. The bad news is that an A is exponentially smaller than a C! Oh well. Back to the store and reality after Christmas. But no! He want's me to wear the new set to that Pimp and Ho New Year's Eve party. HELP!
Talk about sitting pretty in MY Christmas Story bunny suit!
They say it's the thought that counts, but that's not to say that a well-intentioned gift has never at least raised eyebrows or at worst ruined a relationship. The men in our lives tend to have a knack for blowing it in the gift department, especially when it comes to lingerie, but in hindsight those lingerie gifts gone wrong can bring a chuckle after time has healed. Here's a list of just a few of our favorite lingerie gift disasters.
Lingerie Gift Disasters Revisited
Who out there knows a man that hasn't the faintest clue about women's sizing and buys the wrong sized undies as gift? One who perhaps thought that sizing had to do with age or inches? One all too common lingerie gift disaster is buying waaaaay too small. Picture this: our spouse or partner has a funny smirk on his face all through dinner, as if he's got something up his sleeve. We ask and he smugly acts as if everything is normal. Then when we're finally ready to curl up and go to bed, out comes the gift box. It's too big to be jewelry, we notice right away. By now the smirk has become an expectant smile, perhaps with a tinge of lust in the eyes. We pull the ribbon and lift open the box and there it is, a sexy lace teddy in a size 2/4 when we haven't been a 2/4 since junior high school. He mistakes the horror in our face for pleasant surprise and suggests we go try it on. That's when things get awkward...
Another popular lingerie catastrophe is the converse, buying too big lingerie as gift. This is when we find out that our husbands or boyfriends might consider us bigger than we even are. A common response is, "you really think I look like an XL?" but we really shouldn't take this personally. Whatever size they think we are, buying the wrong size is more a reflection of cluelessness in the fashion department than anything having to do with us. The gift of lingerie shows that he still thinks we've got it and wants to see us shake it, even if we aren't as slim as we were back in the good old days.
The ultimate of all lingerie gift disasters, one that has created lifetimes of awkward moments, would have to be the unwanted lingerie gift. Lisa, a paralegal for a law firm in Charlotte, recalls a time when a male coworker decided that a bra and panty set was an appropriate gift for her birthday.
We had worked closely together on a few cases over the last two years, when he walked into my office while my office-mate was out to lunch. He said "Happy Birthday, Leese" and put a silver box with a red ribbon on my desk, then just stood there with an awkward smile on his face, and I said, "Do you want me to open it now?" He nodded. When I realized what the contents were I was flabbergasted. My jaw just dropped wide open and I gave him a gaping stare. "What makes you think this is an appropriate gift for you to give me?" I asked. He quickly turned beet red, mumbled an apology, then swiftly left the room. Six months later, it's still strange to see him in the hallways, but not as bad as the initial embarrassment. He honestly took it far worse than I did.Lingerie, when done right, can be a delightful gift, but lingerie as unwanted gift can be as bad as creepy. That situation aside, it can show us the men in our lives find us sexy and desirable and can add a nice little spark to the holiday season. Unfortunately, most men don't know the first thing about buying feminine undergarments as gifts in spite of all that time holding our purses in the hosiery department. Perhaps the best idea of all would be to give us an IOU, and that way we can go lingerie shopping together. This will not only ensure that we have the perfect design and fit, but can also be a sexy kind of foreplay before a nice evening out or in spent together.