I used to work with a guy who made it a practice to use sports analogies every chance he got.  "Let's huddle-up," "it's fourth and goal here people," "we need a slam dunk on this one."  You get the point. 
 
Recently a friend and I were talking about dating and relationships and she mentioned the term Dating Tennis in relation to some stories I was telling her.  Never thought I would use a sports analogy for an installment of Dating Tales....let's hope it is a grand slam.

It’s been almost four months since I exited the fast-paced world of online dating.  A world filled with equal parts excitement, intrigue, deception and depravity.  It was a wild, fun ride and I loved every minute of it.  I wouldn’t say that I miss it but I do miss one part of it: dating.  I haven’t dated much since venturing out on my own.  Come to think of it….I’ve had one date since leaving online dating in January.
 
I’ve been trying to figure out this strange hiatus.  Granted I was, as friends told me, a dating madman in the 8 months following my divorce but since January I’ve come to a complete stop.   Over lunch recently, a friend offered the following:  I have become socially lazy.

Rain is a force of nature that can be so bittersweet at times. If you’re like me, you only really love the rain when you are at home with no where to go, snuggled up in your blanket watching a good movie. Rain can definitely complicate the simplest of daily tasks like walking to your car, a daily commute, or a not so simple task…your wedding.

After 11 months, an estimated $5,000+ and an unmentionable number of hangovers and dates, I have retired from online dating.  Will I be like a lot of boxers and return to the ring after an elaborate retirement press conference?  Will I pull a Brett Favre?  A Jordan?  Perhaps….but not right now.

To many it's an urban legend...much like Big Foot or Bloody Mary.  To others it's the gold standard.  And to others it's just something to dream about and wish for.  But does it really exist?  
 
FWB ("friends with benefits") has been the subject of talk shows, blogs and at least two films that I can think of.  An early Seinfeld episode addressed the topic of FWB and it didn't turn out to well for our heroes Jerry and Elaine.  Then again, Kramer seemed to make a career of it.

Many brides and grooms struggle with the question, “Should I register for china?” In fact, I personally get asked that question by several of my brides. It’s a great question. It is one I asked myself five years ago as I was registering for my wedding. I had made up my mind that I didn’t want or need china. In my mind, I didn’t see it as practical or even something I wanted my wedding guests to spend money on. After my mom highly suggested I change my mind, I did. I registered for the china. To this day, it’s my favorite wedding present we received.

Hello! My name is Joanna King. I have been in and around the wedding business for almost half of my life. Along with weddings, I have a music degree in oboe performance and have worked as a freelance makeup artist. I have a desperate need to utilize my creative side. Whether I express myself visually, musically or through my words, I try to engage those who will see, hear or listen. In the past year the wedding industry has become a way to show your closest family and friends not only your love for your spouse but your creative side. There is now added pressure for you as a bride to, not only make it down the aisle without tripping, but to throw your guests the party of a lifetime!

1. Talk, talk, talk

Talk with friends, family and other acquaintances who you know have been through a divorce.  Ask not only about the outcome, but about the attorney, too – did he/she return phone calls promptly?  Explain in understandable terms the divorce process and possibilities of settlement vs. going to trial?  Were fees explained and billing questions answered politely?  Did their attorney make promises he/she couldn’t keep?  Was the attorney satisfactorily able to answer questions about the kids, the pets, and anything else specific or unique to your acquaintance’s situation?  Listen and develop your own opinion, and keep in mind that the emotional component of a divorce will impact the way each client thinks of his/her attorney.

On paper, online dating was supposed to be easy.  Well, perhaps not easy but definitely not this complicated.  I'm in my early 40's, divorced, no kids, solid career (knock on wood), void of any major emotional issues, great friends and family and a very positive outlook on life.  I would have to say that I am happier in most ways now then I have ever been.
 
But I don't have someone special in my life.  And I kind of wish I did.  I feel that I am now ready for a girlfriend....to date just one person.  Online dating was supposed to help me.  It really hasn't (yet).

My friend who coaxed me into online dating told me that the ratio was 20-1.  I’ve always said that dating, like marriage, was a gamble but what did he mean by 20-1?  What he meant was this:  for every 20 women you email/contact via online dating only 1 is likely to email you back. 
 
Really?
 
Those odds could not possibly apply to me!  I’m fresh on the scene, Mr. Big, a divorced man who is not afraid to commit!

So I'm several months into online dating and overall I have had a very fun time.  Online dating (dating in general) while at times is taxing, time consuming and expensive has overall been a fun and positive experience for me.  I've been out with some very nice, successful and beautiful women.  But there have been a few bumps in the road.  One girl even stood me up!

Hi there,

I am so excited to have this opportunity to be part of Womensforum.com.  I have been a divorce lawyer for 33 years (but who’s counting?), and I know how hard divorce can be for a mom.  You are not only worried about your future, but the future of your kids as well.  A lot of the choices you and your spouse make at the beginning of the divorce process will have long lasting repercussions.  If you can, and many of you won’t be able to, keep the kids’ issues separate from the money. Try to work out the best schedule possible for your children, one that really works for them. Also, try to agree with your spouse on when and how you will tell the kids. In this case the delivery is as important as the message.