Womens Forum - Live, Love, Inspire

Most of the moms I know find it easier to be kind to their friends in moments of distress than to be kind to themselves.

When our friends forget a play date or school performance for their kids, we find ourselves sharing kind words of empathy and forgiveness. Mom's learn how to forgive yourself. “Don’t worry about it. We all do it. We are just one person at the end of the day.”

Hunting for colleges for my daughter has turned into a part-time job.

As my kids have grown older, my job as a parent has changed. When my kids were little, I would seek out conversation about engaging children’s television shows. I knew the CPTV schedule by heart.

Now that my kids are older, I find my conversations going from Barney to Barnard College and every school in between. I never realized these colleges existed. Now, I could tell you every region in the U.S., which schools are in that region, what they are accepting for incoming GPA's, and what their admission package needs to look like.

You suddenly feel like a new person when you find something that puts you to sleep in minutes. 

Since moving my family from Connecticut to California for my husband’s new job, I find myself doing a lot of air traveling back and forth. At the time we decided to move, my oldest of four decided she was not coming. She elected to stay behind, live with her grandmother, and finish high school with her childhood friends. In many ways, I can’t say I blame her. The small problem that I had as a mother was the 2,989.4 miles that separated us, and the eight states in between.

Leading your kids by example: Bouncing back from disappointment. 

Disappointment stinks. As parents, our job is to teach our kids how to turn these disappointments into opportunities. Guiding them is easy, however when we are in the mirror facing our own let downs, it becomes a challenge.

What we may not realize is that our children are always watching, looking for signs that we are leading by example, which I experienced first hand.

Today, I propositioned my husband in a way that I didn’t think was possible.

And, as soon as it came out of my mouth the emergency sirens went off in my head. There was no other way to look at it. I was getting old.

Growing up, we have all gone through similar cycles of interest and disinterest. As a kid, the thing that excited me the most was the opportunity to go to Dairy Queen. On a lazy summer night, the youngsters in the neighborhood would hop out of the pool and run for a hot shower. Each would race back dreaming of a Banana Split or Mister Misty Slush. The big question was who was brave enough to ask their parents to drive us for ice cream? Interpretations, who had gotten into trouble today and who hadn’t?

Mothers Don't Have Time to Get Sick! 

Today I decided to take care of me. Our house has been taking turns with the flu. It always starts with the little one and works its way up. Inevitably, he comes home sniffling and coughing and I know that it is a matter of hours before the virus becomes an epidemic.

Happy New Year…mom style- 26 days in. It takes me this long to clean up my holiday returns, get the house back in order, and answer all mail correspondence that has been piling up next to my computer. I would be curious to see if I’m the only one dealing with insurance companies who have their own resolutions- to avoid paying your 2012 claims if at all possible.

Now that I am thinking clearly and relatively free until February break, I have some time to consider my own New Year's resolutions. This year, instead of resolving to show up on time, I have decided to hit the problem from the other end, by investing my time wisely so I am not over booked.

There are those days when you feel connected, and I mean connected to a higher source, connected to others around you, and most importantly, connected to yourself. Something happens in your life where you believe in the goodness of others and more importantly the goodness in yourself. Last Sunday was one of them for me.

California is the volunteer Mecca. There are groups, clubs, and school requirements that integrate volunteer hours into every day life. When we first arrived, I was approached by one of them. It was a boys group that involved volunteering with your mom throughout the year to the tune of 16 collective hours. You had to show up at meeting on time (first check against me) and you had to be reliable to carry out a project (second check). I was doomed. Could I pull off an activity? I could barely start giving back at home, never mind running an event. Knowing that it was in the best interest of my son, I agreed.

Since our move from Connecticut to California, I have been traveling back and forth to visit my oldest, who decided to remain on the East Coast and finish out high school. My other three children, including my high school junior, decided to move with us. When it came time to move, she was sad to be leaving not only her sister, but also her best girlfriends and her boyfriend.

Glock pistol, Sig Sauer pistol and 223-caliber Bushmaster rifle... all are guns belonging to a teacher at Sandy Hook Elementary School.

The teacher was Adam Lanza’s mother, and the weapons were used on December 14, 2012 to take the lives of 20 kindergarteners. How as a society can we allow this to happen?

Last year, my family and I had the opportunity to live in the UK. It was just after the riots in London. The question raised around the world was how the authorities would handle the riots without guns. In the end, it was handled because there were no guns. Guns were not allowed. In the UK, they don’t have 24-hour Wal-Mart’s to purchase the latest in arsenal gear.

Today while typing on the computer, my husband flew out of our home office and said “Quick put on the TV, there has been a shooting in a Connecticut school in Sandy Hook.” I looked at him, squinted my eyes and searched his face, not quite understanding his message.

Instinctively I went right to our news station WTNH in Connecticut and watched a live version of the local news. I knew that I would not get the same story from the California news channels. I needed to know every detail. My daughter was still in Connecticut finishing high school and I wanted to be sure that she was safe.

As the news came in, my phone began to ring with stories from home. One of my friends works as a Physical Therapist in the same town as the shooting, so I called her.

As I write this, we are going back to Connecticut today for Thanksgiving. I find myself less and less anxious to return to the New England winters I once loved as a kid. I watch the girl in front of me at San Francisco airport checking in her luggage with her flip-flops and wondered if I should have my brain checked for cracks. Do I really want to do this? Then in my mind’s eye, I could see my Dad from Florida complaining about the weather. I was going and liking it, mittens and all.

Originally, we were scheduled to return to Connecticut from California for the Thanksgiving holiday on Thursday, however on Wednesday my oldest was to competing in the State Swim Trials for girls her age across the state. It was an event where the girls competed on a high school level and the fastest swimmers in the state were brought together to determine who would make championships three days later.

California is the state of the work out King/Queen. It doesn’t matter how old, what gender, whether people played sports in high school, college, or for the pros, everyone is in shape. With one day being more beautiful than the next, does the weather produce these athletes or do the athletes move to the weather?

While grabbing some roadside produce (another California bonus) I had the pleasure of meeting one of these work out Queens. People here are exceptionally nice. Everyone talks to everyone. This Queen was about 10 years older than I. Although the muscles weren’t ripping out of her shirt, she looked relatively fit in her biking attire. 

“You will love it here if you like outdoor sports” she shared.

Two weeks ago was National Sister's Day. My daughter was missing her sister who had decided to stay in Connecticut to finish school. 

"Mom, you know it’s Nationals Sister’s Day right? I tweeted a picture of Maegan and I," she shared, with tears welled up in her eyes. 

"I haven't seen her in 35 days and I am counting down until I see her again."

Being a parent, I always walk a fine line between negligence and teaching. Today was a good example.

My son has a habit of getting out of bed for school after I have called him ten times. When left to his own devices, I am afraid that at age 13, he would fail. At what point do I start teaching him lessons through some tough love? Our parents didn’t discuss any of this, while parents in 2012 diaper our children until the age of 20.

As many of you know, my new home is California. It seems funny for me, a girl who was such a homebody that she didn't even live away at school. Within one year I have lived on the East Coast, in Europe, and now on the West Coast. 

Initially I was excited to go. After the winter before last when I had nine feet of snow in my driveway, I had vowed that I wasn't going to shovel another driveway for the rest of my life. This was an opportunity to live in warm weather, become the work out queen that I had always dreamed of being, and appreciate life from a different prospective.

Although I know this, and as much as I work to practice this, there are those times in my life when it becomes a challenge. 

Recently, I moved my family to California. When we first arrived, the excitement of being somewhere new swirled. Different weather, different environment, and a change of scenery created an adventure. For the first two weeks, we stayed in a hotel. Our job was to scout out the area, find new sports programs, and meet as many people as we could before we met my husband for dinner in the center of town. No dishes, no laundry, no cooking, life was good.

In June, I dread the thought of entertaining my kids and giving up my freedom. By the end of August, I hated to give them back, and by September I wonder where my summer went?

When my oldest two (now 16 and 17) were little, my husband and I decided to join Paradise, a local pool and tennis club that is great for kids. Set on many acres of land, they have swimming, tennis, rowing, volleyball, and hours of orchestrated games.

There are moments in life that define us as parents. I am experiencing one of them. 

“Enjoy them while they are little. It goes so fast.” 

These were my mother’s words. Like any young parent, I would roll my eyes in response. As far as I was concerned these peanut butter and jelly years would be in my life forever. One day rolled into the next. I was in control and I owned life, didn’t I?

This past week I have been in a New York State of mind. Lucky for me I was in the city several times for social media conventions, a Yankees game, and for a New York City food tour of Little Italy and Chinatown.