What Does It Say About Me That My Ex Has Rebounded So Fast?
The old song is right: breaking up is hard to do. Possibly the only thing harder than breaking up or getting a divorce is watching you ex quickly hook up with someone else. You may ask yourself questions like, "Why is my ex in a rebound relationship?" "What does it say about us when he has moved on so fast?" and "How can I get over the pain of his betrayal?" Rest assured that your ex's actions may not reflect as poorly on you as you think.
Do Rebound Relationships Work Out?
Rebound relationships are stereotyped for a reason. People often look for comfort with someone else after a break up, but that isn't always for the best. Typically, those in a rebound relationship are physically close to their new partner while remaining emotionally distant. Fear of commitment abounds in most rebound relationships, and more often than not they end in another breakup.
So why do people seek out rebound relationships? For many people it's because they fear being alone. Others are in love with being in love. In other words, they like or may even be addicted to the rush of hormones and emotions that come with falling in love. Once those first exciting weeks with a new partner are over, a rebound relationship often falls apart. For many, a rebound relationship is little more than a distraction that keeps them from feeling the full extent of the pain that comes with a breakup. A rebound relationship is often a misguided attempt to "move on" with life instead of taking the time to fully heal from the loss of the previous relationship.
Help! My Ex is in a Rebound Relationship!
When your ex is the one in a rebound relationship, it's often easy to see how shallow they are. You may even still care enough for your ex to want to warn him that he's only going to cause himself more pain. Perhaps his rebound relationship is causing you pain because he tries to rub it in your face or make you jealous. If your ex is in a rebound relationship, keep the following things in mind:
- The more intense the rebound relationship, the more likely it is that your ex is truly hurting over the loss of his relationship with you. Try to be understanding.
- Your ex's new partner is not a substitute for you. Comparing yourself to his new girlfriend or wife will only result in resentment and disappointment.
- Even if your ex is being a jerk, try to remember the good times you had with him. Focusing on the positive will help you heal faster and will keep you from trying a rebound relationship as well.
- Most women can tell when a man is looking for a rebound relationship. Your ex's new girlfriend/wife probably knows what is going on and is choosing to pursue the relationship anyway, so there is no need to "warn" her. She'll probably just see this as a sign of insecurity on your part.
- If seeing your ex in a rebound relationship is too painful, limit your contact with him to only that which is absolutely necessary.
- Believe it or not, there are some rebound relationships that work out. Sometimes a rebound can turn into something real. If this happens for your ex, wish him well and let things be.