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Home Valentine's Day Who Should Pay on Valentine's Day?

Who Should Pay on Valentine's Day?

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who-should-pay-for-valentines-dateThe Valentine’s Day Date is perhaps the most stressed-over outing of the year.

The day is completely dedicated to love and romance - all the receipts that come with. From what you wear to where you eat to what you hope to receive (cards, red roses, boxed chocolates, life-sized teddy bear), Valentine's Day isn't a cheap undertaking! Add to that a fancy date and you or your date could be digging for couch change just to make rent!

With all the pressure to make Valentine’s Day perfect, it would be easy to let the financial stress get in the way of what’s supposed to be a sweet, romantic night. But do men really have to pay for everything? Should women share the cost of a date or does that make it ‘less romantic’?

Deciding Who Should Pay for Your Valentine’s Day Date 

According to a survey by the American Sociological Association last summer, over 70% of people admit that men pay for most dates. But 57% of women said they still offered to chip in. Perhaps most telling is that about 66% of men said they think women should help with the cost.

To be fair, as women struggle for better equality in areas like income and employment opportunities, we seem to be a little too eager to let the whole men-should-pay tradition stay in place. Maybe men were more likely to pay for dates in the past because women were less likely to be working, but that’s largely not the case anymore.

What to Consider When Deciding

  • Would it mean a lot to him to let him pay? You can always offer to help, but remember how good it feels to give a gift. Some guys take a lot of joy in giving you the date of your dreams. Don’t rob him of that just to be politically correct.
  • Is he struggling financially? If either of you are strapped for cash, remember that the day is about love, not expensive steak and shiny diamonds. Sometimes there is nothing more romantic than sitting at home in your comfy socks eating pizza with the one you love. Be sensitive to your date’s financial situation and don’t humiliate them or stress them out by expecting something that’s out of his/her reach.
  • How long has it been since you’ve paid for a date? You can never go wrong in striking up a good balance. If you haven’t paid for anything in the past six months, maybe you can pick up this one.

At the end of the day, there’s no right or wrong answer to who should pay for your Valentine’s Day date. It’s not “less romantic” if the guy doesn’t pay and it’s not “sexist” if he does. Just talk to each other about it. How much do you want to spend? Can you share the cost or would you rather pay – or would he? Can you ditch the picture-perfect steakhouse date and have a fun, cheaper, more creative night? 

Be open and honest, and try not to let the idea of what Valentine’s Day should be get stuck in your head. It’s a day about love – so love!

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