New Schools and Separation Anxiety
Separation Anxiety in Children
For many kids, the first day of school is something exciting and new. Parents of these children can simply leave their kids at the door knowing that things will go smoothly. Others are faced with a more difficult situation. It's not uncommon for children to cry when it's time for mom or dad to leave. Is leaving a child and walking away the right thing to do? Experts agree that as it maybe on the parent and child, it's best to walk away. While a child may experience separation anxiety, the best thing is to let the child find her own independence.
The first day of school in not the only time that separation anxiety can be a problem. It's common for a child to become more attached to parents after moving and going to a new school. Starting over with an unfamiliar teacher and no friends can lead to anxiety for a child and for a parent. The parent might even have guilt over the fact that her child has to start all over again because of the move.
To a lesser extent, going from grade school to junior high and then on to high school can cause separation anxiety. Once again best course of action is to face that anxiety and head over to the new school. Eventually, the child will adjust to their new surroundings. If that doesn't seem to happen, it may be time to consult a professional if an older child or teen shows extreme anxiety.
Separation Anxiety Disorder
Sometimes, a child exhibits symptoms that go beyond normal separation anxiety. If a child's anxiety becomes so severe it literally impedes his ability to lead a normal life or interact with his peers, he may be suffering from separation anxiety disorder. Separation anxiety disorder is a serious mental health condition that can only be fully addressed through professional intervention. The following are signs of separation anxiety disorder.
- Apparent distress over being separated from a parent or home
- Fear that something may happen that will separate child from parent or guardian
- Child not wanting to go to school or anywhere else because they don't want to be separated from a parent
- Constant nightmares about being apart from parents
- Constantly complaining about health ailments such a stomachaches and headaches
- Bouts of nausea and vomiting due to anxiety
These are all symptoms of separation anxiety disorder, which can occur due to a child being separated from a parent or beloved guardian. Normally this type of disorder occurs in serious separation issues such as prolonged illness of a parent or a child dealing with parents being separated or divorced. However, there are occasions when it does happen regarding going to school. Most experts would say that separation anxiety over a new school shouldn't last more then a month. If anxiety issues last longer and manifest into separation anxiety disorder, it's time for a parent to get to the bottom of what's causing the problem.
Typical reasons for separation anxiety disorder include bullying, problems with their teacher or another authority figure, or even physical or sexual assault. In these cases, it's important to involve the school faculty and medical professionals in investigating the matter. Trust your child and look into any claims she makes about what's going on at school. Even if her accounts are exaggerated, she'll know she can rely on you to help her which may ease her anxiety.
The only true cure for separation anxiety is to teach a child that he can be separated from you but still feel safe in the knowledge that he is loved. It's important for a parent to let his or her child know that they will always be available whenever a child needs them. Letting a child go to school is the first step toward conquering separation anxiety for the child and the parent. In the vast majority of cases, that first painful day of separation will lead to a lifetime of healthy independence.
