Sex and health are directly related... If you don't feel good about your body, you're probably not having a great sex life either.
BloomEnjoyYourself.com founder and CEO, Jillian Bice, knows a few things about sex. She founded the "House of Bloom" community to bring women together to talk, understand, and learn more about having a wonderful sex life and more. We chatted about the relationship between healthy living and sex through the decades... Here's the interview.
If what you eat matters, how does it affect your sex life?
When considering how sex changes from your 20s to 30s to 40s and beyond, there are as many different answers as people on the planet. The experience of sex is extremely subjective. But, there are some pretty powerful influencers playing a role in the types, frequency, and quality of sex we experience. Think: fitness, health, hormones, self-confidence, financial and career security, and relationships are overwhelming our minds. I began asking friends, then colleagues, then virtual strangers to describe sex in our 20s, 30s, 40s, and beyond, and I heard some pretty insightful answers.
In our 20s we’re generally fit, healthy, and ready to try almost anything new. We’ve got tons of testosterone and estrogen, but not a lot of money or experience. Our parents are no longer doing our shopping, we’re in a “grocery store” with thousands (millions?) of options, and we get to choose what we want! Sex is an adventure, exploration reigns, and our appetites seem insatiable. We love quick fixes… fast foods, sugar, and flavors we never dreamed possible! It’s quantity over quality, and colorful packaging tends to catch our eye every time. Forget nutritional info, just give us variety and lots of it! In our 20s we’re searching for what turns us on. Certain we’ll stay young and fit forever, we’re not bothered by our less-than-healthy choices. But, it’s also when most of our mistakes are made. We discover which foods don’t nourish us, and which ones can make us sick.
In our 30s we begin to settle down. Careers, families, and mortgages take center stage and, influenced by experience and greater financial security, our palates are more refined. We’re reading nutrition labels, are less drawn to fancy packaging alone, and feel less compelled to sample the whole menu! Quality over quantity begins. We’re more self-confident, know what we like, and are beginning to say it. For women, our mid-30s can also mean the beginning of peri-menopause and changes to our sexuality. Our appetites begin to change, and so does our tolerance of certain foods.
Likely financially secure and self-confident, by now our relationships have usually become “long-term.” We’re shopping in the gourmet food section with our partner. And, why not? We know what we like, and we can afford it! Sophisticated packaging and nutritional content matter, and our meals are accompanied by deep conversation – not only focused on the food! This is also when peri-menopause and menopause typically enter our lives, and we discover that what we once enjoyed may now give us indigestion. But, that’s not such a bad thing. There are options that help us nourish our sexual selves – it’s just a matter of learning what they are.
The 50s +
In our 50s and beyond, many are dining on comfort foods. Our long term relationships are comfortable and familiar, but is this enough? For many it isn’t. This is also when lots of couples find they’re in a sexual rut. Menopausal changes and aging in general mean that our experience of sex shifts. Medical and other interventions can help, but today many couples are opting to shop in the spice section. Sometimes the solution to a sexual rut might be simply to add a few new flavors to favorite foods. A pinch of sex toys and a dash of blindfolds can turn a TV dinner into a gourmet extravaganza!
Not all relationships last forever, though. For those who are single again, does this mean starting from scratch with the fast foods, shiny packaging, and low nutritional value? For some it does, but for most, it doesn’t. We may go back to our habits from our 20s, but generally this novelty has worn off. Our tastes and the food choices have changed, and so have the grocery stores. Armed with a better idea of exactly what’s going to satisfy your appetite, next time around stick to shopping in the gourmet section!
So, from your 20s to your 50s and beyond, choose your sexual partners and your foods wisely. They’re nourishment for your body and soul, and the wise choices will lead to a long, healthy, and happy life.