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Should I Get Divorced?

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should-i-get-divorced-headerDivorce is a difficult choice and a hard experience to go through. And it's difficult at times to know whether or not to go through with it at all.  Sadly, many of us are unhappy in our marriages for different reasons. The decision to divorce inevitably comes down to, "Is the pain of same greater than the pain of change?".

Many times, thinking about divorce leaves our minds reeling as to whether or not to actually proceed with divorce. The act of divorce seems too difficult so we stay in the marriage, at times feeling a bit trapped, yet confused as to how to continue with life.

Add to the confusion and complications that you have children together. How do children handle divorce?  Experts are pretty much split on the subject. 

should-i-get-divorcedDo you want to get divorced?  Here are some questions to ask yourself. 

Do I Really Want a Divorce?

1. How Do You Feel About Your Spouse? 

Do you still have feelings for him?  Perhaps your feelings have diminished or there is a problem that you feel powerless to fix.  If there is a seemingly insurmountable problem, have you tried with your spouse to fix it?  Counseling can work wonders it both you and your spouse are willing to work on it.  Furthermore, if there are any romantic or affectionate feelings for your husband, then it is wise to stay with the relationship.  Many a women has divorced only to find that they have regret. 

2. Did You Ever Have a Marriage in the Beginning? 

If you have been "roommates" from day one, fighting for your own needs and that alone, then perhaps it's time to consider divorce.  Marriage should be a reciprocal effort to meet each other's needs because we love that person.  Marriage is about being unselfish and there should be balance in meeting the other's requests because we love them and want them to be happy. 

3. Are Your Thoughts On Getting a Divorce Based on Raw Emotion or Do You Feel Like You Have Reached a Point of True Self-Awareness?

Women who are ready to divorce have pretty much released any emotional attachments, yet view their spouses as human beings that still need respect.

4. What is the Primary Motivation to Divorce?

If you are divorcing to get your spouse's attention, thinking he will treat you better, that is unhealthy motivation.  And basically he will be free to date others. Counseling is a better approach if the above is your motivation. 

Considering a Divorce

If you are certain you want to get divorced, you will need support.  And you will need to act maturely, even though it may be tough at times.  Consider counseling.  Get involved in support groups and relish those friendships.  In time, all will be all right.  Stay strong  and envision a free life with happiness.

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