Why Preschool Isn't as Important as You Thought
You've probably heard that the most important role preschool plays in a young child's life is helping him develop his social skills. While that is true to some extent, preschool may not play as large a role in your little one's social development as you've been led to believe. Some experts believe preschool, when not properly supervised or supplemented by adults, can actually decrease social skills for kids.
Kids Social Skills List
If you were to make a list of the most important social skills for preschoolers, you'd probably be able to narrow it down to three major areas: empathy, responsibility, and communication skills. Many parents enroll their kids in preschool with the expectation that he or she will develop these skills by attending.
Learning How to Act in School
What kids really learn in preschool is how to operate in a classroom environment. They learn how to adapt to a schedule and new situations as well as valuable academic skills that prepare them for kindergarten and beyond. All of these things are important to a child's development and future success in school, but they really aren't the foundation of the social skills that will enable your child to make and keep friends and operate comfortably in the real world.
In reality, preschool really isn't the best environment for little kids to learn social skills. In preschool, kids spend a lot of time with their peers—not exactly the best role models of emotional maturity and integrity. In fact, early childhood research on children's social skills shows that kids that spend too much unsupervised time with their peers can actually regress in their social development and become less mature, responsible, and communicative.
So what is the best way to teach kids social skills? Not surprisingly, the answer is: be a good parent and role model. Ultimately, you and other loving adults are the best teachers when it comes to important kid's behavioral skills. If you want to raise a sensitive, moral and honest child, practice, try these tips.
Important Social Skill Strategies
- Talk About Feelings: Empathy is a learned skill, so you need to give your child language to express how she is feeling and to make observations about how others feel. When reading picture books with your child, ask her questions about the characters' feelings. "Do you think the bunny liked it when his sister ruined his picture?" Carry this over into real life situations. "How did you feel when Beth didn't give you a turn?" Don't underestimate your child's ability to understand complex emotions and situations.
- Explain Rules: It made you crazy as a kid when your mom said, "Because I said so!," and your child feels the same way. By not explaining rules, you are creating a hostile and incomprehensible world for your child. Instead, offer simple, honest age-appropriate explanations. "You need to pick up your toys because a messy house makes mommy feel frustrated. When the house is clean, mommy feels happier."
- Don't Ignore Your Child's Emotions: When your preschooler throws a fit, it's easy to go straight into discipline mode, but it will pay in the long run to first acknowledge the emotions he's expressing. Say something like, "I know you're angry and disappointed. I want to talk to you about it, but I can't until you calm down." Then proceed to put your child in time out (or whatever discipline method you use) and wait until he calms down. Once he's able to talk, ask him how he's feeling and why. Then express your side of the story and your reasoning. This enables your child to develop empathy with your point of view and to see that you understand his.
