A girlfriend’s new relationship shouldn't turn your world upside down. Engagement updates, wedding photos and new baby announcements used to really put you out on Facebook. Pictures of an engaged couple riding through the city on beach cruisers wearing Converse sneakers and hipster frames used to put you into the wide-eyed panic state of a single girl. Honeymoon sunset photos once put you into emotional paralysis. You had just returned from Hawaii with mom and dad, and you're faced with the reality that other 28 year olds are actually taking grown up vacations.
Living the Single Life
It’s all fine and dandy though because you’ve got your girlfriends. All single and miserable just like you. Just a blanket of security reassuring you that you’re not the only gal flying solo in the world secretly fearing a life of solitude. Then, that one Match.com first date seems to have worked out well for your one friend, and your best friend’s blind date has suddenly become her boyfriend. You're without any prospects. The formidable single girls troupe is crumbling, and one by one, girls are crossing over to the other side.
Controlling Through Guilt
As you watch your friends transition from #lovemysingleladies to relationship territory, you probably experience a rush of negative emotions.
Jealousy. Abandonment. Loneliness. Fear. Self-pitty. Harsh, right?
The more you allow these feelings to overwhelm you and your mindset, the more your happiness and friendships suffer. By not identifying these emotions, your feelings could manipulate your thoughts into unwitting blame and resentment toward a friend. “You’re choosing your new boyfriend over me!” “We don’t hang out like we used to!” Through the power of guilt, you may try to control the situation and prevent a friend from being happy, and what kind of person does that make you? Don’t we all deserve to be happy?
Handling Change When Your Friends Invest in New Relationships
Change is scary, and a new relationship undoubtedly changes the dynamic of a friendship. Rather than fight change, embrace it. Making your friend and friendship suffer because of her new relationship doesn’t make you any happier or closer to finding love. As the world turns, life is constantly in a state of flux, and you have the choice to either embrace change no matter how uneasy it makes you feel or fight it. Accept the new dynamic in your friendship and foster it with positive energies. Your friend’s new relationship isn’t the end of the world and no reason to feel devastated.
Perhaps without your best friend at your side, you have some extra free time. Observe this time as an opportunity to learn how to enjoy your own company and build a sense of independence. Challenge your mental and physical capabilities by training for a half marathon. Join a book club and gain new perspectives by reading.
As we grow older, more and more friends will be pairing off. You may just end up being next, and wouldn’t you want your loved ones to be happy for you?