Blending Two Families into One
Step family problems will be a part of life until all of the wrinkles can be ironed out after blending a family. Having blended families may not be easy, but it is possible for everyone to live in harmony. There are new routines just as there are new rules for the children to follow. There are also times when the children will rebel because they are now learning to listen to an adult that is not their parent.
Blended family advice is great to get from the experts, but sometimes getting it to work may be another whole issue. With step families there are not only new rules; there are new people involved. Many children take these new people to be a replacement for their mom or dad. The love may not be there. As a matter of fact, the "like" may not even be there.
Step family problems can be dealt with; it is just going to take time. The way you handle step parent issues will make all the difference in the world. Whether you are a woman that has children of your own or not, joining a new family will be a learning experience. As with any people learning to live together, there will have to be boundaries set up, and each person will need to understand them. Knowing the goals and expectations within the newly blended family will help everyone involved feel in control. Whether the children that are involved are toddlers or teens, it is best to expect some upheaval. With divorce being so prevalent step families or blended families are very common. No doubt you know someone who has already been through the trail by fire and can give you some advice.
When children first become a part of a blended family they may exhibit very different behaviors. Some become very quiet and withdrawn while others are going to rebel. Not only will they rebel against the new step parent, they may also rebel against the natural parent. One of the best things that can be done is to explain that the new step mom or step dad is not taking the place of the biological mom or dad. The child must be made aware that the divorce had nothing to do with him and he is still very loved.
Being the new stepparent is a hard challenge and there may be step parent problems coming your way. One has to remember not to try to be the "super step parent." Sometimes coming on too strong will push the child or children away instead of helping them to like you. Time will be on your side; just take it slow. Children may feel loyalty issues towards the parent that is not present and sometimes the anger or stress may be aimed at you, the stepparent, though you have done nothing to deserve it.
Help everyone adjust be discussing new routines and establishing some fun new family traditions like a weekly game night or regular activities that everyone enjoys like bowling or the movies. Schedule some time for the kids to be alone with the step parent so that everyone can get to know each other better. Most of all, remember that this new family was built on love and try to live that way.