Do kids in your house get money for chores? Are you the biggest whiner when it comes to doing chores? Just how greedy are you when it comes to chore assignments?
It turns out that the problem with getting your family on board when it comes to doing chores may be you, mom and dad! Here are three of the biggest mistakes parents make when it comes to chores.
No Pay For Play!
A mistake many experts say parents make is assigning a monetary value to helping the family.
Giving money for chores turns a lesson in giving into a lesson on earning. You want to raise children who understand the emotional value when it comes to helping others.
Research shows a reward often lowers a child's motivation and performance, which leads to more whining and a poor job outcome, whether doing laundry or sweeping the floors.
Who's The Whiner?
We are warning you: This one might be tough to hear. When it comes to your own errands, which are essentially chores, do you complain? If you whine about your own housework, errands and chores, your kids will see it as a bad thing. So the quickest way to make those lectures about doing things for the good of the family sink in is to react positively when you do something for the good of the family. Try to remember why you carpool kids here and there, run around picking up just the right items for a project or make three trips to the grocery store to prepare a favorite meal. If you want your kids to see their chores as a gift to the family, you have to think of your own to-do list the same way.
Don't Be Bossy or Greedy
What is the thing on your list of tasks that you hate the most? What do you actually enjoy? Now think about what it would be like to be given the "yucky" task while watching someone else take the "fun" one. Have a family meeting to make a list of chores, if you have young children, be sure to explain how each chore benefits the family. Then let everyone in the family pick their own chores. It is okay to let children know that you don't prefer a particular chore, but you appreciate the fact that it helps the family. All of this will increase the buy-in from every member of the family, including yourself.
It is important to remember when speaking of "chores" and "good for the family," the tasks on the list should actually benefit the family, and not be self-care assignments like brushing teeth or cleaning the person's own room. Chores should not have ownership. Don't think of it as "Do your chores," but instead, "Let's do our chores."