What is honesty in relationships, in life and with yourself?
Whether it helps to call it white lies, stretching the truth or fibbing, you’re not fooling any moral compass. You’re being dishonest. I sincerely try to live my life with a zero tolerance policy for dishonesty, not telling the truth or being apologetic about how I really think or feel. (Self-righteousness is open for interpretation.) Like childhood obesity, dishonesty is an epidemic. Is that not accurate? I just want your attention.
Scared of Honesty
Discomfort isn’t the most preferred feeling. Wouldn’t the world be a wonderful place if every day we were softly blanketed in unbroken self-assurance, warm fuzzy feelings and lovely compliments? We do everything in our power to avoid feeling uncomfortable, physically and even emotionally. If we’re honest, we may have to look into the faces of disappointed children or a broken-hearted soon-to-be girlfriend. Even negative, hard-to-digest feelings start to surface with self-honesty — being open with our own selves. Do you hold yourself back? Do you tell your friend what she wants to hear because you don’t want to disrupt the friendship? Have you texted someone after a first date that yes, it was a great time and you’d love to see him again — only to ignore his messages and hope the hint is taken? I like comfort and easy just as much as the next person, but being uncomfortable and facing difficult situations in moments of expressing your true feelings benefit, really, everybody.
Importance of Honesty
Sugarcoating the truth and tiptoeing around feelings misleads and confuses people. In the opinionated words of myself, cowards and people who are weak are dishonest because the truth hurts and vulnerability is scary. Keep in mind that I don’t recommend going “Liar Liar” on everyone in your life, and reveal your inner-most judgmental thoughts about your best friend’s parenting techniques, tell your boss that he’s a close-minded miserable dictator or exclaim to your mother-in-law that the necklace she gave you for your birthday is so ugly you’re insulted. Use discretion, please. I’d just like to abolish the types of dishonesty that stem from insecurity and weakness or have self-serving purposes.
Benefits of Honesty
Telling the truth and sharing honest feelings can be liberating for a parent, relationship, friendship and yourself. No one dies from hearing the truth. I like to think people actually appreciate and learn from the truth, if not in that moment, eventually. Because just like how everyone deserves to be happy, healthy and safe, everyone deserves to know the truth.
Think about it. What fuels white lies and the easy way out?
- Fear of hurting someone’s feelings
- Fear of participating in an uncomfortable or awkward situation
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of being the bad guy
- Fear of change
- Fear of losing something or someone
- Fear of facing reality
Vow to be honest. Honesty and integrity, sincerity and authenticity may just light a spark within you or someone else to make a change for the better.