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What Do Men and Women REALLY Think About Sex?

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From an early age, women are spoon-fed unrealistic ideas about love and sex. With Prince Charmings sweeping our favorite princesses off their feet and Ryan Gosling-type movie stars always "getting the girl," it’s no wonder we have such high expectations for our significant others. 

Unfortunately, real life relationships often prove that these high hopes are nothing more than a Hollywood fantasy.

While some sex myths are overly positive, there are also a lot of negative expectations surrounding relationships. Men who can’t commit, women who are too high maintenance, marrying the man of your dreams and forcing yourself into a sexless relationship - the list goes on and on.

Psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman has dealt with a fair share of relationship myths and debunked them in a recent article for the Huffington Post. Men and women may think they have each other all figured out. But according to these common misconceptions, we still have a long way to go. Here are some sex myths about men and women, and why they are totally ridiculous. 

Porn is Gross and Ruins Relationships

It’s no secret that men (and some women) thoroughly enjoy porn. Although Dr. Rodman advises against excessive porn viewing, it shouldn't be condemned or completely ruled out.

"Men are very visual and most men enjoy watching porn from the age of puberty onwards," says Rodman. "If you view your husband's sex drive in any capacity as disgusting, it is going to be a marriage killer."

Your S.O. Doesn't Lust After You the Way They Used To

After being in a monogamous relationship for a long time, it’s easy to question your lover’s intentions. Even the most beautiful women have their bad days, and insecurities can often get the best of us.

A common problem with women in long term relationships is that they believe their husbands or boyfriends are no longer attracted to them or are losing interest. Because of this, women feel like sex happens because they’re just "there." Similarly, men worry that their wives and girlfriends’ lack of libido is a result of them losing interest. Luckily, this is often not the case. 

According to the article, nearly 50 percent of married couples between the age of 25 and 49 only have sex once a week. With couples juggling work, school, children, and life, sex often gets left on the back burner. The level of attraction you share with your spouse often has nothing to do with it. 

"Very, very infrequently does a husband come in and say (even when his wife is not in the room) that he no longer finds her physically attractive, but has sex with her because she's the only option," says Rodman. "Much, much more frequently, the man acknowledges that his wife may not look identical to her wedding photos anymore, but he still finds her desirable physically."

It’s the Man’s Job to Initiate, But He Never Does 

A fleeting libido and lack of self esteem can easily put a damper on anyone’s sexcapades. Men are 'known' for having a hearty sexual appetite, so when a husband or boyfriend fails to make the first move, women are left feeling unwanted. If your man doesn't initiate, it may be because of previous experiences. 

"It is likely that in your husband's mind, his passivity is a natural response to having been rejected," says Rodman. "If he doesn't try, he can't fail."

Rodman also goes on to explain that many men fantasize about their woman making the first move on their own. It’s 2014, after all. Since when did we need a man’s permission to take control? 

Based on Dr. Rodman’s advice, men and women continue to be a complete mystery to one another. She also proves that there is a simple way to solve this mystery: communication! Talking to your S.O. is the key to both a better sex life and a stronger relationship.

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